Never Grow Up

8.3.2011
Lately I have been thinking about how precious this time is when our little girl is just that. Little. It rushes by all too quickly, and I'm amazed constantly how time passes by so fast. I can't believe our Little Miss will be three in two short weeks, time has sped by. I just want to bottle her up and keep her this way forever. There are obviously many times that I look far too ahead, and miss the mark. I look forward to her being potty trained, or in school, or able to do some more things on her own. But deep down it breaks my heart, thinking that she isn't going to be little forever, and isn't going to need me forever. I mean, you always need your mom, whether you think you do or not, but in a different way. You no longer need her to tie your shoes, or brush your hair, or tuck you in bed each night, but deep down I think all of us miss that to some degree. But I never realized how much I'll miss those things on this end. Obviously, we still have a lot of time, and a lot of things to look forward too. Yet, I just see the next 15 years flying by and want to hit the pause button.

Hallie is such a angel in our lives. Most of the time, she is very obedient, and observant, and willing to learn. She is so sweet and caring to everyone around her, and is genuinely concerned about their well being. She always has something nice to say and is so loving. Whether it is including someone who is nervous at nursery and rubbing their back, or singing a song to help you feel better. Hallie is in love with nursery, and is constantly singing Primary songs. She loves Jesus and already brings Him up in different ways throughout the day. I'm excited to see this little girl grow in the gospel, she is going to be a rock and a light to those around her. She is just a happy girl, and wants others to be happy too.

Now, don't get me wrong, she can be feisty, and stubborn, and sassy, and some days just a pain, but in some weird way I love that about her. I love her stubbornness at times, because I know she is thinking for herself, and she will need that strong will to get her through hard times in the future. I love that even though she feisty, that she will fight for what she wants, and what she knows is right. And her sassy-ness just cracks me up, she can be so dramatic, but can be so funny too. Even though when you first hear these traits, they may seem less than desirable, I hope she holds onto them, because they will help her in the future.

Because this has really been at the forefront of my mind, when I heard the song Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift on Erica's blog it really hit home in so many ways and brought me to tears. If you haven't heard it, go look it up right now. It's amazing. I really was what I needed. Both for me to remember to enjoy this time of life with Hallie, but also remember the little things in life when I was on the other end. Like, "Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room, Memorize what it sounded like when your dad got home, Remember the footsteps, remember the words said, And all your brother's favorite songs." Then it says, "I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone." This is so true. I know that what really matters we will have for the eternities, but in this mortal existence we truly need to live every day in the moment, and not stress to much about the future. Because we won't ever have these simple moments back.

There have been a few instances recently that have seriously humbled me, and realized that no matter our age or circumstance that we are not invincible and bad things happen to good people. But because of that we need to learn to slow down and treasure each moment, both the good and the bad, and learn to appreciate the trials we go through. The trials we are given truly shape us, and mold us into the people we are each day, hopefully for the better. This is something I really need to learn more fully, and appreciate more often. Because trials truly are blessings if we will let them be.

Anyway, that was a lot longer than I intended.

So on a lighter note, we were driving home today and Hallie has had a rough day, and was successful in screaming all the way from Lehi to the University Parkway exit. I was about to lose it, but she asked if we could drive past the llamas, which we do most days. The song Never Grow Up was playing on my iPod, as we were driving past. Hallie found the llamas, and goes "where are the llamas pajamas?" to which I said, "I don't know," and Hallie responded "they're probably in the laundry." Ha ha! So not what I expected, and it just made me forget about her screaming and being a pill all day, and just want to squeeze her. Yes, Little Miss, never grow up. :)

If you haven't read this book, you must! It's Hallie's favorite, and is the reason she asks to see the llamas...and why she was wondering where their pajamas were.

Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift

Your little hands, wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause your dreamin'
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light.

To you, everything is funny
You've got nothing to regret
I'd give you all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom is dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much that you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember she's getting older, too
And don't lose the way you dance around
In your PJ's getting ready for school

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, the words that were said
And all your little brother's favorite songs.

I just realized everything I have
is someday gonna be gone

So here I am, in my new apartment
In a big city, my parents just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in, turn on my favorite night light.

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, I don't wanna grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, I don't wanna grow up
It could be this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to
Please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up
(Never grow up)
Just never grow up